Motivational Monday: "Content,"A New Definition

I met Ashtyn Shaw while working as a reporter in Wichita Falls. She had been diagnosed with cancer, but her spirit was unbroken. With this young girl's fire she inspired everyone around her. The entire community was cheering for her as she went through things no child should have to. So for today's Motivational Monday I have asked Ashtyn to write her story.

Content. While the word is known to mean satisfied, I believe the meaning is open to interpretation. Boredom and routine can result in being content with your life. Normalcy doesn’t start out as normal, so becoming content is built up over time.

September 17, 2012

Being pushed in a wheel chair to my new home for the next week was irritating. I was perfectly capable of walking to my room (emphasis on “was”). The cancer ward was a new place. Little bald children walking around as if being hooked up to four hundred tubes at once was something every four-year-old dreamed of. I stood out for looking normal. The nurses told me so. They weren’t used to seeing a patient with a head of golden blonde hair. I wasn’t anywhere near content with the situation. I missed school; I might have cancer. Little did I know, I was going to be hit, head on, with a new version of normal.

October 1, 2012

Sleeping as late as I wanted, extensions on every assignment I was given for school, permanent elevator pass for when I actually came to school, and a doctor using my blood counts to dictate whether or not I went to school-- a teenager’s dream. This was my life, and then some. My life revolved around my health. My hair constantly fell out, even if it was barely blown by the wind. I was too weak to finish unloading the dishwasher without getting winded or dizzy. Even though I was still adjusting, this had become my new normal.

Being content during this situation all related back to your perception of content. In a way I would consider myself content through this, but maybe that’s because I chose to ignore the full extent of my condition. On the other hand, because I chose to ignore my problem, the degree of my content could be considered non-existent.

October 9, 2012

I had always wondered what I would look like bald. My mom and her friend left work and took me to a wig store. After picking out two, I shaved my head. Well, actually my mom shaved it. With tears streaming down her face, she turned her beautiful fifteen-year-old daughter into a beautiful, bald fifteen-year-old. I was shy for the first day, then decided people could deal with it. So what, I didn’t have hair. Get over it.

I eventually realized that my life is my life. You may say that your life revolves around playing volleyball. Well, my life revolved around saving mine. That was my normal. And I was content with my normal. The hospital, the Starbuck’s at the hospital, the chill I got when the wind blew over my little bald head became so familiar. Being behind in school, having to teach myself all of my material became the norm. My “old” normal became uncomfortable. Even now, after going through an entire year of school after this experience, school feels foreign. Being a part of class, as opposed to my own branch, seems unbelievable. I’m a senior now (graduating in less than 50 days), and even though I’ve been through 2 “normal” years of school since my cancer diagnosis, sometimes I find myself in disbelief that this is where I am. When everyone else is daydreaming during the teacher’s boring lecture, I’m looking around as if I’m still not used to the feeling of being a normal high school student.

April 20, 2015

I am in the middle of the process of becoming an official volunteer at Cook Children’s Hospital, because I have been invited to be a mentor on the cancer floor. My other plans for the future are to attend the University of Oklahoma in the fall and major in Mathematics (yes, I’m a self-proclaimed nerd). This leads me to another thing that some people keep wondering: “Has your experience and journey with cancer and the physical/emotional effects of treatment inspired you to go into the medical field?” This question is almost always asked in a more demanding way as if they’re saying, “You should go into the medical field because of this”. But my answer is—and always will be—no. Biology and I never got along anyway and I feel that the best way to repay all of my doctors and nurses is to live my life to the fullest achieve all of my goals and show cancer who’s boss.

I want to end my story with this. There is one thing that I really want to do with my journey and I believe it is best said through this quote (my senior quote in the yearbook, actually).

“Aspire to inspire before you expire.” -Anonymous

#cancer #content #motivationalmonday