Alone

Maybe it’s the time of year, ya know… because red roses, chocolate and hearts are filling up the shelves at the grocery store with Valentine’s Day approaching. Lately one heavy question has been directed towards me. “Are you seeing anyone?” I don’t hate the question and I am not uncomfortable with my answer, which is I’m casually dating. So, I guess you could say I’m single.

I’m 24, which means culturally, especially where I am living in the Midwest, I need to start looking to fill that empty spot on my left hand ring finger before I become an old hag. However, I am really not concerned.

Within us all I think we have this deep fear of being alone. I argue, what’s wrong with it? The last four years I have been happily alone. I’ve traveled, accomplished goals I’ve set for myself, both in my career and personally, taken on new experiences, and built relationships, the most important one I think has been with myself.

In this digital age it’s so easy to avoid being alone. You may be sitting in a room without a soul in sight, but I bet you’re chatting with your friend on Facebook or texting your mom about the dinner plans you have set up for the weekend, or maybe even checking the latest stories on Snapchats. Let’s be honest, you’re probably doing all three at once. We keep ourselves so busy trying to fill our lives with others, when will we ever stop and fill ourselves?

In college when everyone else was afraid to go to the cafeteria alone, I happily showed up every morning for the thick chunky oatmeal (and yes, that’s how I liked it) by myself. I didn’t think about it at first really, I just did it. Then I started to grow to love that time. I mentally prepared myself for the day, with myself.

When you make time to be alone you’ll start learning about yourself, just as you would learn about someone else when you spend time with them. You’ll find out who you are and what you want, so when you do go off and try to start building those relationships with others, you’ll be able to quickly interpret whether it’s something you want to invest in or not.

I believe the best types of relationships are built from want, not need. Let me explain the difference. A strong individual, who is confident with who they are, doesn’t need anyone to support them or be there for them, they want it, when it’s the right person. Strong individuals know what they want because they know themselves.

Learn who you are first, then beautiful relationships that fill you up will follow… and it starts by taking the time to be alone.

#alone #single